Always
by KitKatt0430
Summary: My first songfic. Draco Malfoy's life turns upside down when tragedy strikes his home from within. AU as of OoTP.
1. Always

ALWAYS

**_+A/N+_** Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter, any mentioned characters within this fic, or the song that this is a song-fic on. Hence, I own nothing in this fic besides the plot.

**A/N 2 -** I originally wrote this when I was in seventh grade before the fifth book came out. So, now that I'm redoing this to kill off my bloopers, I was faced with the decision of whether or not to make it fit with the sixth year book. My choice, however, was to make this officially AU and keep it post-fourth year.

† ‡ †

_I hear a voice say, "don't be so blind."  
__It's telling' me all these things,  
__That you would probably hide.  
__Am I your only one and only desire?  
__Am I the reason you breathe…  
__Or am I the reason you cry?_

† ‡ †

Draco Malfoy jerked his head up as he walked off of the train, towards the fake brick entry to the station, and into muggle London. He wondered vaguely if his father would even bother to pick him up; knowing that if he weren't (like last year) he would have to summon the Night Bus.

Lucious Malfoy was nowhere in sight.

Draco looked around. Potter was being picked up by his Uncle. Neither looked happy about it. Granger was happily following her parents. Blaise Zabini was debating politics (surprisingly) with his father. Even the Weasleys looked happy.

And there Draco stood, feeling stupid for hoping that his father would be there. He started towards the exit. Nobody talked to him on his way there. Not that he expected anyone to. Not that he wanted anyone to.

Draco stepped into the light of the day and then turned left and entered the first alley he saw. Then he pulled out his wand from his trunk and stuck it out in the air.

BANG!

The door opened and Draco entered. The doors closed and he paid his fare.

† ‡ †

_Always,  
__Always,  
__Always,  
__Always,  
__Always,  
__Always._

_I just can't live without you.  
__I love you,  
__I hate you,  
__I can't live around you._

_I breathe you,  
__I taste you,  
__I can't live without you.  
__I just can't take anymore this lack of solitude.  
__I guess then that I'm out the door,  
__And now I'm done with you._

† ‡ †

Lucius Malfoy stood at the door of his son's room. He hadn't apologized to Draco last year when he hadn't picked him up. Draco didn't complain then. He hadn't apologized this time either. B

Lucius knew that anyone in his place with Draco as his son would be prouder than any other father; but Lucius wasn't. He felt nothing except for a strange pain. A pain that he wanted to mend by inflicting it on others. Even on Draco and Narcissa.

Yet he knew (somewhere in his mind, most likely in the farthest recesses) he couldn't live without either of them. They were part of him. However, he could only show his appreciation by hurting them.

Turning away from the door, Lucius walked down the hallway to his office and began to work once more. He wasn't certain how much time passed, but sometime later a knock sounded at the door and he looked up, calling "enter!"

Draco looked in. "Father," he said, his voice was formal, distant sounding, "mum says dinner will be ready soon. She requests your presence for the meal."

Lucious smiled a slightly psychotic smile. "Tell her I might come down," he turned to face his library wall, "and that I might not. I might eat later."

Draco nodded and left.

Lucious didn't notice. He didn't care either. He was already planning his next "lesson" for Draco.

† ‡ †

_Done with you,  
__Done with you,  
__Done with you,  
__Done with you._

_I feel,  
__Like you don't want me around.  
__I guess I'll pack all my things;  
__I guess I'll see you around.  
__It's all been bottled up until now,  
__As I walk out your door,  
__All I can hear is the sound of,  
__Always._

† ‡ †

Draco walked out of his father's study. He turned around and closed the doors. Softly. Anything loud and he knew he would be beaten.

'Why am I even here?' Draco mused as he walked through the halls towards where he knew his mother was. 'If mum weren't here, would I stay? Would I take the pain father causes me? Would I even view the world as I do?'

He came to the end of the hall. There was a large sitting room there, and in the middle, in a silken looking chair, sat his mother.

Narcissa was a beautiful woman. The only problem was the black eye she sported.

"He isn't coming is he?" She asked.

"Perhaps," Draco said. "He was vague. Like he always is." He came and sat next to his mother in silence.

Mother and son were both quiet as the House Elves entered. They seemed to know that Lucious wasn't coming. Otherwise only one would've come to announce that dinner would be served downstairs. However, they brought the dinner up to them, almost as if promising peace at the meal.

† ‡ †

_Always,  
__Always,  
__Always,  
__Always,  
__Always._

_I just can't live without you.  
__I love you,  
__I hate you,  
__I can't get around you.  
__I breathe you,  
__I taste you,  
__I can't live without you,_

_I just can't take anymore this lack of solitude,  
__I guess then I'm out the door,  
__And now I'm done with you._

_I love you,  
__I hate you,  
__I can't live without you.  
__I left my head around your heart.  
__Why would you tear my world apart?_

† ‡ †

Lucious watched as the House elf led his son into the room and then turned and scampered out of the room, the doors closing with a bang.

Draco didn't look anything. Not afraid or angry or annoyed or resentful. Nothing. He seemed blank and emotionless.

"What 'lesson' do I get to learn today, father?" Draco asked quietly.

"Fencing," Lucious gave a sardonic smile and tossed Draco the sword with blunted ends. He kept the sharp one for himself.

† Later †

"That is all for today," Lucious drawled.

"Yes father," Draco said respectfully. He didn't pay any attention to his multiple, bleeding cuts. He wasn't raised to.

Lucious took the blunted sword from Draco and threw his own sharp sword at the door. It should have embedded itself deep within the wood. And it would have except for one small detail.

Narcissa had opened the door at that very moment. The sword went through her chest and heart.

"What have I done?" Lucious whispered.

"MUM!" Draco shrieked as he ran to her side. He could see as he arrived that she had already stopped breathing, that she was already dead.

And Lucious stood there, his eyes unseeing.

† ‡ †

_Always,  
__Always,  
__Always,  
__Always._

_I see the blood all over your hands.  
__Does it make you feel more like a man?  
__Was it all just a part of your plan?  
__The pistols shaking in my hands,  
__And all I hear is the sound of..._

_I love you,  
__I hate you,  
__I can't live around you.  
__I breathe you,  
__I taste you,  
__I can't live without you._

_I just can't take anymore this lack solitude.  
__I guess that I'm out the door,  
__And now I'm done with you._

_I love you,  
__Ihate you,  
__I can't live without you.  
__I love you,  
__I hate you,  
__I can't live without you._

_I can't take anymore this lack of solitude.  
__I pick myself off the floor and now I'm done with you._

† ‡ †

Draco stood there. His ears were ringing.

'She can't be dead,' flashed through his head. He pushed the thought aside, recognizing that denial wasn't an option. He bent down and gently pulled the sword from his mother and laid it on the ground beside her.

He was suddenly glad that he hadn't had time to take off his fencing gloves.

"Mum," he whispered. "Mum, I can't stay here to take care of father like you did. I can't. I hope that you will understand why." Then Draco got up and took one last look at his father who seemed to have gone catatonic.

"I've always loved you father," Draco said aloud, hoping that his father could hear him. "Even though you don't love me. I know you didn't mean to kill her but you have. Mum is dead and I can't and won't ever be able to forgive you for that. I am leaving now."

Draco left and went to get his things packed again.

Lucious didn't move, didn't blink, and didn't think. He just stood reliving his horror until the morning.

Draco left the house when he finished packing and summoned the Night Bus when he arrived on the street. He didn't remember anything else until he arrived at the Leaky Cauldron to get a room for the summer there.

† ‡ †

_Always._

† ‡ †

**_+A/N+_** I haven't ever done a song-fic before so if it isn't good (as I sorta think, I am my own worst enemy/critic) And I would appreciate some feed back. I will post any other song-fics that I come up with on this one. I would also appreciate anyone sending me the lyrics to this song so I can fix any discrepancies. I had to listen to this song many times over to get it this accurate.

**A/N 2-** Well, I fixed the song in the first verse, but miracle of miracles, I got the rest right. There are two other pieces to this and, with a few tweaks each, I'll have them re-posted soon. The next one is a prequel to this and it makes for better impact to read it second. The third one is the sequel to this one.


	2. Pretty Girl

A/N Hi again, this is a prequel to Always. I hope you all like it.  
  
Disclaimer: I OWN ZIP, ZERO, ZILCH.  
  
Pretty Girl  
  
- = -  
  
Pretty Girl is offering, While he confesses everything. Pretty soon she'll figure out, What his intentions were about.  
  
And that's what you get for falling again, You can never get him out of your head.  
  
And that's what you get for falling again, You can never get him out of your head.  
  
It's the way, That he makes you feel. It's the way, That he kisses you. It's the way, That he makes you fall in love.  
  
- = -  
  
Narcissa Malfoy was alone in her room when she woke up that morning. It was the day before her son came home from his fourth year at Hogwarts and she, for once, had good news to tell him.  
  
Lucious, as usual, was already awake and most likely working on whatever it was that Voldomort had told him to do.  
  
Narcissa still remembered that strange night a few weeks ago when Lucious had vanished unexpectedly for hours and returned with his so-called good news of Voldomorts return to power. He spoke of plans and ideals and vengeance. It sounded like genocide to Narcissa. She had wisely not voiced that opinion aloud.  
  
Narcissa lingered in bed, cherishing the silence, for a few moments before she arose and readied herself for the day.  
  
- = -  
  
She's beautiful, As usual, With bruises on her ego and, Her killer instinct tells her to, Be aware of evil men.  
  
And that what you get for falling again, You can never get him out of your head.  
  
And that's what you get for falling again, You can never get him out of your head.  
  
It's the way, That he makes you feel. It's the way, That he kisses you. It's the way, That he makes you fall in love.  
  
It's the way, That he makes you feel. It's the way, That he kisses you. It's the way, That he makes you fall in love. Love.  
  
- = -  
  
Narcissa walked down the hallway to her sitting room. It passed by Lucious' study that was almost always closed. However, today the door was open as she walked by and she glanced in. There was Lucious staring at her from his desk.  
  
Lucious rose from his desk and walked over to her.  
  
"I'm sorry about our fight last night," he said softly. Narcissa was stunned as he continued by saying, "I had no right to be so angry at you. I hope you'll forgive me."  
  
All the hate that had built up in her seemed to vanish as he said that with a smile. She smiled back as she tried to ignore the part of her mind that said, "'come into my web' said the spider to the fly."  
  
"Of course I forgive you Lucious," Narcissa clasped his hand. "I love you and would forgive you no matter what."  
  
Lucious kissed her then turned to return to his study. As he closed the doors he whispered, "why do I love such a weak woman?"  
  
Narcissa knew that she wasn't supposed to have heard that, but she had and it hurt her deeply. She had to fight of the urge to wipe of her mouth to rid herself of his kiss. Yet she knew that it wouldn't be any use. He would do something rare and kind and she would fall in love again.  
  
So Narcissa turned and walked down the hall to her sitting room. It was neat and clean, no trace of her fight with Lucious from the night before was left.  
  
The couch was no longer broken and the chairs were the right side up. The glass on the table was repaired and her books were back in order. Even Through The Looking Glass was in it's rightful place on by her favorite rocking chair.  
  
The rocking chair didn't seem to be anything special when looked at for face value. It was, in fact, the least expensive item in the house. What made it special to her was that it was the same chair that she used to rock Draco to sleep in when he was little.  
  
Now the rocking chair was her reading chair.  
  
"You'll be used for your old job soon again," Narcissa said as she sat down in her chair. She meant it too.  
  
For the fight she had had with her husband the night before had been ended when she explained why she had gone to the doctors earlier that day. She had believed herself sick, but when she had left for home it was with the news that she was pregnant again. Draco would finally have a sibling.  
  
Narcissa, however, didn't intend to tell Draco the news until he had been home for at least a day. She didn't want to spoil any good news he might have to tell her.  
  
- = -  
  
Pretty Girl, Pretty Girl, Pretty Girl, Pretty Girl,  
  
It's the way, That he makes you cry. It's the way, That he's in your mind. It's the way that, He makes you fall in love. It's the way that, That he makes you feel. It's the way, That he kisses you, It's the way, That he makes you fall in love. Love.  
  
- = -  
  
"WHOSE!" Lucious demanded for the umpteenth time.  
  
"Yours," Narcissa replied calmly.  
  
Lucious slapped her hard and Narcissa began crying softly.  
  
"Who else do I love but you?" She whispered.  
  
Lucious seemed satisfied with that and quit questioning her. He left the room. Narcissa sat there crying like she would never, ever stop.  
  
'How could he question whose child I carry?' She wondered. 'Am I protecting you by staying? Or am I hurting you?' She thought of recently developed plans for leaving with Draco and divorcing Lucious. Nevertheless, she loved Lucious too much. Even at moments like this she knew she would never find her old courage and leave him.  
  
Love was all that mattered any more.  
  
She jerked up in bed, shaking from the memory of the fight she had had that previous night. Lucious lay peacefully beside her. 'How can someone so cruel be so loved?' She wondered as she curled up next to him.  
  
- = -  
  
A/N Anyone like? Will you review? Please? Will anyone send me corrections to the lyrics? Will these questions go unanswered?  
  
Who knows?  
  
Please review. 


	3. Tomorrow

Disclaimer: I own nothing. Nothing. Isn't that depressing? Good. Now you are ready for another song-fic.  
  
A/N Hello. Hola. Aloha. ^-^ This has taken me forever to get thoughts together on, and then I had to pick the song. 0_0 It was so easy with the first two, and , and . right. Thank you readers, reviewers, and flamers. Please feel free to review at your own discretion and if I have the lyrics wrong feel free to tell me.  
  
Tomorrow: the sequel to Always  
  
- = -  
  
Is it any wonder why I'm scared? If was a little younger, Would I care? I'm feeling like the walls are growing stronger, I don't know if this gate can hold me any longer.  
  
You never thought you'd have to live your life so guarded. Cause they'll find a way, Too make you feel discarded.  
  
- = -  
  
Draco Malfoy shot up in bed, his heart racing from the dream. He couldn't remember it, as usual. But he could guess that it was about that night. He could still see, all too clearly, the sword as it pierced his mother's heart. It left him feeling like his heart was hit too.  
  
He had been staying cooped up in his room since he had arrived and hadn't received any word from his father.  
  
That was a very good thing.  
  
Draco stared out the window and he could barely hear the mirror, as he listened instead to the sound of muggle London, when it said, "not another nightmare, dearie? That makes every night for a week. You need peace."  
  
"I know," Draco replied. He shut the window and the noise vanished. "I have a lot on my mind."  
  
"Of course, dearie," the mirror muttered, it seemed to be falling asleep again so Draco let it be.  
  
Draco's mind wandered. 'What'll next year be like? I wonder what school was like for mum?' As soon as he thought that he practically jumped out of his seat. Even wondering about her time in school was like hitting an open wound. Pure pain was all it brought.  
  
Therefore, Draco did the only thing he could think of. He grabbed his cloak and went for a walk around Diagon Alley.  
  
- = -  
  
I'm not afraid of tomorrow, I'm only scared of myself. Feels like my insides are on fire, And I'm looking through the eyes of someone else.  
  
Never thought they'd want me to go even faster, Never thought I took my foot of the gas. Everybody loves to be in on the pressure, But they're all waiting for the crash.  
  
You never thought you'd have to live your life so guarded. Cause they'll find a way, Too make you feel discarded. Things have changed, You've become a complication. Can't make it through another day's humiliation.  
  
- = -  
  
Draco passed through the nearly empty street. He had become a familiar night owl lately. He knew almost every creature out. Or at least been attacked by those he didn't know.  
  
A few stray vampires glanced at him but wisely stayed away. They had seen three of their kind get slayed by him that week. None was stupid enough to attack him anymore.  
  
A few late night witches scurried past him. He ignored them. Several of them pointedly tried to get his attention though. One of them walked off unsuspectingly with a vampire. Draco turned when he heard that witch's screams when she entered the nearby alley.  
  
He got to just behind the vampire and told it to go or get staked. It left with the witch alive.  
  
Then he recognized the witches. Lavender Brown was the one he had saved. Her Gryffendor friends were the flirty ones.  
  
"Thanks," Lavender squeaked, still in shock from the entire ordeal.  
  
"If you are going to be out this late you ought to carry a stake or two. You'll end up one of them if you don't," Draco said.  
  
"A-Al-right-t," she stammered.  
  
Her friends grabbed her arms and slowly led her away.  
  
Draco turned towards the Leaky Cauldron. He closed his eyes momentarily. 'That Gryffendor was bloody lucky,' he thought. 'Whatever possessed those girls to wander around at night without someone to take care of them?'  
  
As he neared the Leaky Cauldron he saw another girl with a vampire. She was tall, had wavy brown hair, and flashing turquoise eyes. Then, the vampire tried to bite her and was suddenly dust. The girl smirked, shook her head, and laughed. Then the dust reformed. Into the same vampire. Draco shook his head. Either the vampire was the well-known Dracula, or possibly one of the lesser known 'unduster' types.  
  
Definitely not Dracula, though. Wrong height and accent.  
  
Draco shook his head tiredly. The entire place was way too dangerous at night. No wonder stores closed earlier now than he remembered from last year.  
  
He entered the Leaky Cauldron and went to his room.  
  
'Why is everything moving so fast? Why don't I get some peace for awhile?' shot through his head before he collapsed, asleep, on his bed. His subconscious drifted back to nightmares.  
  
- = -  
  
I'm not afraid of tomorrow, I'm only scared of myself. Feels like my insides are on fire, And I'm looking through the eyes of someone else.  
  
Someone, Someone, Someone else.  
  
Someone, Someone, Someone else.  
  
Someone, Someone, Someone else.  
  
I'm not afraid of tomorrow, I'm only scared of myself. Feels like my insides are on fire, And I'm looking through the eyes of someone else.  
  
Is it any wonder why, The answer keeps me petrified? Is it any wonder why, I'm scared?  
  
I'm not afraid of tomorrow, I'm only scared of myself. Feels like my insides are on fire, And I'm looking through the eyes of someone else.  
  
- = -  
  
When Draco woke up the next morning it was to the hoot of an owl. It was a tawny owl that Draco recognized as his father's. He blanched at the idea of his father wanting him to come home.  
  
He picked it up and read it. Twice. One part kept him reading and rereading.  
  
'Dear Draco Malfoy,  
  
I am quiet sorry to break this too you, but your mother has been found dead and your father missing. The greatest shock to you of all is the fact that your mother isn't the only family member you've lost. She was somewhere in her second trimester, pregnant with a little girl. You would've had a little sister had she lived.  
  
I am sorry for your losses Mr. Malfoy, but I hope, for your sake, that your father can be located alive.  
  
Cornielus Fudge, Prime Minister'  
  
'I was going to be a brother!' shot through his mind like a dagger. The pain only increased; he finally understood why his father had seemed to go catatonic.  
  
Lucious had known he was going to have another child. He knew he had killed his wife and second child all at once.  
  
Tears trailed down Draco's cheeks as he cursed whatever had set this in motion, whatever it was had made his father the sociopath he was.  
  
- = -  
  
Is it any wonder why I'm scared? If was a little younger, Would I care? I'm feeling like the walls are growing stronger, I don't know if this gate can hold me any longer.  
  
Is it any wonder why I'm scared?  
  
Someone, Someone, Someone else.  
A/N *timidly* reviews? Anyone? Please. Just push the button, you know you want to review. Hello out there?  
  
Should I do any more? That is indeed the question. If anyone can tell me who the girl hanging out with the 'unduster' vamp was will get a special salute, and automatic feedback on the story they might be writing. Non- flame stuff of course.  
  
Thankz 


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